8:59 – Just organizational stuff now.
9:02 – Laura’s entered, standing next to Lynne Cheney. Just sat down.
9:02 – Supreme Court enters.
9:03 – Cabinet enters.
9:06 – Nothing’s happening…
9:09 – Finally, he enters.
9:13 – Bush gives lip service to Pelosi having a vagina. An easy applause line.
9:14 – Mentions Tim Johnson/Charlie Norwood, calls for fast recovery. Surprised by the courtesy of it.
9:15 – Congratulates the “Democrat majority.” Go to hell.
9:16 – Charlie Rangel is doing a crossword. So Stanley-esque I want to cry.
9:18 – Calls for the budget to be balanced without raising taxes. Also, a pony and some ice cream.
9:20 – Calls for earmarks to be made public, cut in half. Doesn’t mention that the reason they’re public now is Obama.
9:21 – Onto Medicare/SS. Oh no.
9:22 – Phew, he’s moved on to education. Pats self on back for NCLB. Calls for expansion, more school flexibility, vouchers (which I’m actually sympathetic towards).
9:23 – Health care time.
9:24 – Children, elderly, poor need public insurance. Rest don’t. They’re different. It’s a genetic thing.
9:24 – Nothing more exciting than hearing Bush talk about tax deductions.
9:25 – Whoa. Totally co-opts Feingold proposal on state health care innovation.
9:26 – Calls to expand HSAs. That’ll fix everything!
9:28 – Immigration schpiel. Nothing new here. Tancredo looks pissed.
9:30 – Energy time. Technology that conveniently helps Big Coal and Big Nuclear is the answer, strangely enough.
9:31 – Calls on US to reduce oil usage 10% in next ten years. Good reception – the smirk is intense.
9:33 – Global warming. Calls challenge “real.” Lots of applause, lots of smirk.
9:34 – Condemns judicial filibuster. Isn’t that cute.
9:35 – Terrorism time. Flypaper theory is still in fashion – even Pelosi’s clapping. Why?
9:36 – Names foiled terror plots that, even if real and even if conducted at all competently, would have killed like five people.
9:38 – Terrorists are bad, apparently. Didn’t know that.
9:39 – Starts talking about Shi’a extremists. Name-checks Iran, support for Hezbollah. Oh. Crap.
9:40 – Moves on. Phew.
9:41 – “What every terrorist fears most is human freedom.” Rarely has such complete and utter bullshit been uttered in the House.
9:43 – Talks repeatedly about Hezbollah without mentioning who, you know, started the war in June.
9:45 – Goal: “democratic Iraq…that is an ally in the war on terror.” Name a bigger impossibility if you can.
9:47 – Talks tough on Iraqi government. Because the instability we caused is totally their responsibility.
9:48 – “Consequences of failure would be grievous and far-reaching.” I know, haven’t they been?
9:49 – “Nothing is more important than that the United States succeed in the Middle East.” 21,500 soldiers and Marines would beg to differ.
9:51 – War on terror a “generational struggle.” Is forming advisory council on it, including plan to expand military. A good means to a wickedly stupid end.
9:53 – Is creating second reserve military for those who want to join the “defining struggle of our time.” Any takers? Anyone? Bueller?
9:54 – Mentions Darfur, Lukashenko in Belarus, and junta in Burma. Surprisingly good stuff.
9:55 – Foreign aid time. Hard to object, esp. on HIV/AIDS and malaria.
9:57 – Special guest time. Some NBA star born in Africa.
9:58 – Another guest. Baby Einstein founder. WTF?
9:59 – Another guest. Saved man on subway tracks. Daughter’s asleep. Insists not a hero, but agreed to be here. Hmm.
10:01 – Another guest. Iraq vet who won the Silver Star for courage.
10:02 – It’s over. “See you next year.” Don’t remind me, George.
P.S. What is with the Jim Webb hero-worship? Sure, the content of his speech was nice (aside from the nod in favor of protectionism), but he spoke with the charisma of a rock. Comparing the speech to Obama’s DNC speech is just slightly less silly than comparing Ted Stevens’ “series of tubes” speech to Cicero.
8:59 – Just organizational stuff now.